Safety Plan | Personal Safety Plan | Support | Workplace Guidelines | Legal Guidelines
Safety Plan
If you are still in the relationship:
1. Think of a safe place to go if an argument occurs -
avoid rooms with no exits (bathroom), or rooms with
weapons (kitchen).
2.
Think about and
make a list of safe people to contact.
3.
Keep change with
you at all times.
4. Memorize all important
numbers.
5.
Establish a "code
word or sign" so that family, friends, teachers or co-workers know when to call
for help.
6.
Think about what
you will say to your partner if he\she becomes violent.
7.
Remember you have
the right to live without fear and violence.
If
you have left the relationship:
1.
Change your phone
number.
2.
Screen calls.
3.
Save and document
all contacts, messages, injuries or other incidents involving the batterer.
4.
Change locks, if
the batterer has a key.
5. Avoid staying alone.
6. Plan how to get away if
confronted by an abusive partner.
7. If you have to meet
your partner, do it in a public place.
8. Vary your routine.
9. Notify school and work
contacts.
10.
Call a shelter for
battered women.
If you leave the
relationship or are thinking of leaving, you should take important papers and
documents with
you to enable you to apply for benefits or take legal action.
Important papers you should take include social
security cards and birth
certificates for you and your children, your marriage license, leases or deeds
in your
name or both yours and your partner's names, your checkbook, your charge
cards, bank statements and charge
account statements, insurance policies, proof
of income for you and your spouse (pay stubs or W-2’s), and any
documentation of
past incidents of abuse (photos, police reports, medical records, etc.)
Personal Safety Plan
The
following steps are my plan for increasing my safety and preparing to protect
myself in case of further
abuse. Although I can’t control my abuser’s violence,
I do have a choice about how I respond and how I get to
safety. I will decide
for myself if and when I will tell others that I have been abused, or that I am
still at risk.
Friends, family and co-workers can help protect me, if they know
what is happening, and what they can do to
help.
To
increase my safety, I can do some or all of the following:
1. When
I have to talk to my abuser in person, I can ____.
2. When I talk to my
abuser on the phone, I can ____.
3. I will make up a "code word" for my family, co-workers, or
friends, so they know when to call for help for
me.
My code word is ____.
4. When I feel a fight coming on, I will try to move to a place that is
lowest risk for getting hurt such as
_____ or (at
work) ____ or ____. (at home) (in public).
5. I can tell my family,
co-workers, boss, or a friend about my situation. I feel safe telling: _____.
6. I can use an answering machine or ask my co-workers, friends or
other family members to screen
my calls and visitors. I have the right to not receive harassing phone calls. I can
ask _____ or ____ to
help screen (home) (work) my phone calls.
7. I can keep change for phone calls with me at all times. I can
call any of the following people for
assistance or support if necessary and can ask them to call the police if they
see my abuser bothering me
- Friend, Relative,
Co-Worker, Counselor, Shelter, Other
8.
When
leaving work I can: ________.
9. When walking, riding or driving
home, if problems occur, I can: ____.
10. I can attend a support group
for women who have been abused. Support groups are held: ______
at ______.
11. Telephone Numbers I Need to Know:
Police/Sheriffs Department: ___________________________________
Probation Officer: ___________________________________________
Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault Program: ______________________
Counselor: __________________________________________________
Clergy Person: _______________________________________________
Attorney: ___________________________________________________
Other: ______________________________________________________
Support
Domestic violence is a pervasive problem in virtually all countries, cultures,
classes and income groups. It is a
complex and multifaceted problem with
individual solutions that are appropriate for different women in
different
socio-cultural contexts.
Both short and
long-term measures must be considered. Short-term measures consist of assistance
programs
that protect the individual woman who has been or is being abused. They
often focus on the critical period after
a woman leaves her home, providing her
with food, shelter, and guidance. This is the period when a woman is
most
at-risk from the perpetrator seeking retribution, or when she might return to
the home out of a sense of
hopelessness. Long-term measures seek to educate the
public and empower the woman to re-establish her life
without violence.
Any response should
involve an interrelationship between the health, legal and social sectors, so
that the
woman is not continually referred to another agency. One innovative
approach is the use of "family crisis
centers," or "victim advocates" to act as
the woman's link to the various sectors. Support can come in various
forms:
Crisis Intervention:
▪ Crisis
intervention services
▪
Crisis hot
lines
▪ Shelters
or other emergency residential facilities
▪
Medical
services
▪ Transportation
networks
▪ Laws
that allow either victims or perpetrators to be removed from the home
Emotional Support:
▪
Self-help
support groups
▪ Assertiveness
training
▪ Self-esteem
and confidence-building sessions
▪ Parenting
skills courses
Advocacy and Legal
Assistance:
▪
Access to
and custody of children
▪ Property
matters
▪ Financial
support
▪ Restraining
orders
▪ Public
assistance benefits
▪ Help
with immigration status
Other Supportive
Services:
▪
Housing and
safe accommodations
▪ Child
care
▪ Access
to community services
Workplace
Guidelines
There
are 60,000 incidents of on-the-job violence each year, and most victims know
their attackers intimately.
(Chicago Sun Times, 9/30/96)
What
to Do . . .
If
you are experiencing domestic violence:
▪
Notify your
supervisor and the human relations manager about the circumstances regarding
your situation.
▪
Discuss
options available to you, e.g., scheduling, safety precautions, employee/family
assistance benefits.
▪
Submit a
recent photo of the perpetrator to your safety manager in the event of a
confrontation at work.
▪
Request that
all information be treated with confidence to provide for your safety and
well-being.
If you are the
co-worker of someone experiencing domestic violence:
▪
If you
suspect a co-worker is suffering abuse, do not directly confront her/him since
it is important for an
individual to self-disclose for her/his own safety and well-being.
▪
Express
concern and a willingness to listen and be supportive if needed.
▪
Offer
support by listening and assisting; when an individual is ready, she/he will
confide.
▪
If a
co-worker confides in you, encourage communication with the human resources
manager and her/his
supervisor.
▪
If you
witness an incident at work, contact your safety manager or law enforcement
immediately.
Make sure that the incident is documented.
If you are the
supervisor or manager of an employee who is experiencing domestic violence:
▪
Be aware of
unusual absences or behavior and take note of bruises or emotional distress.
▪
Contact the
human resources manager to discuss concerns, resources available and ways to
support the
employee, e.g., safety planning, employee assistance counseling, family resource
referrals, flexible
scheduling, security measures.
▪
Be familiar
with community resources and referrals.
▪
Maintain
confidentiality at all times; be sensitive to the seriousness of the situation.
▪
Discuss who
is appropriate to speak with the employee; agree on all forms of communication,
e.g.,
providing the safety manager with a photo if there is a risk at work.
▪
Assist the
employee in documenting all incidents with the batterer that occur in the
workplace.
▪
Take action
against domestic violence by encouraging employees to volunteer and by providing
financial or
in-kind support to your local domestic violence programs
Legal
Guidelines
General questions about divorce or custody cases
▪
Have you or
any members of your firm ever represented my partner or anyone associated with
my partner?
▪
Do you
handle divorce or custody cases? How many of these cases have you handled?
▪
How many of
them were contested?
▪
How many of
them went to trial?
▪
Did any of
the cases involve expert witnesses?
▪
How many
were before the judge(s) who will hear my case?
▪
What kind of
decisions does this judge usually make?
▪
Have you
ever appealed a case, and if so, what were the issue(s) appealed? How many of
these appealed
cases did you win? (Remember that even excellent attorneys lose cases.)
Questions about attorney fees and costs
▪
What are
your fees? What work do these fees cover? Is this an hourly fee or a flat fee
for the entire case?
▪
Is there an
additional charge for appearing in court?
▪
Do you ever
charge less for people who do not have much money?
▪
Do you
charge a retainer? How much? What does it cover? Do you refund all or part of
the retainer if my
case ends up being dropped or not taking much time? (Attorneys should be willing to
refund any part of the
retainer not spent.) Are there other expenses which I may have to pay? What are they and how much are
they likely to be?
▪
Will you be
the only person working on my case? What will other people do? How will I be
charged for their
work? Will I be charged for speaking to your secretary? Your receptionist?
▪
Are there
ways that I can assist you so as to keep down my costs?
▪
Will you
send me a copy of letters, documents, and court papers that you file or receive
regarding my case?
▪
Do you
charge extra if the case gets more complicated or we have to go back to court?
▪
Will you
require that I have paid everything that I owe you before you will go to court
with me or finish my
case? (Many attorneys do this. They may also refuse to return your original papers or
copies of your file,
and in some states this may be legal. Therefore you should insist on getting a copy of any paper filed
with
the court or given or received from another party or otherwise relevant to your case. Be sure to keep all of
them in a
safe place, in case you ever need them.)
▪
Are you
willing to work out a payment plan with me?
▪
Will you put
our agreement about fees and what work you will perform in writing?
